Summary of 2012 politics in America
I hate you and your family The game 2012 GOP primaries are a rough and vigorous affair,and need to be chronicled as such. America is a ticking time bomb of lobbyism, special interests, pointless wars, rampant spending and waste, Steve Jobs sympathizers/Apple supporters, and other - things that need to be stopped. The candidates fighting for the nomination to take on Incumbent President Obama, the beautiful chocolate man currently in office, are currently in steep debate on issues such as: *is Obama REALLY a beautiful chocolate man? *Is Lee Mercer Jr. going to run? *Should retarded (or ecen stupid) faces be outlawed? *What does it really mean to SROMP? *What is going to be done about the prorpro? *Does Mitt Romney's jawline look like a fchoking granite rock formation? *is frickyou.com or yesas.com a better domain name for s sromp news website? *What is your favorite food? * LA CONSPIRATION EXISTE-T-ELLE ? * Is slug more slug or snail more snail? All of the candidates were asked "eb?" before they started thier run for president. Here are the results: Stephen Colbert: ig Ron Paul: frick you eceryone else: hi Analysis of each candidate 'Stephen Colbert (VP Stephen Colbery)' Stephen Colbert is one of the two candidates who really support SROMP ideas and values. He opposes himself and endorses Herman Cain, a negro who dropped out of the race a long time ago, claiming "Colbert is against everything American" and "Herman Cain is such a Washington outsider he's not even ecen running." He is known for his very controversial opinions, particularly his stance on Mitt Romney's jawline. He also states he'd rather be dictator than president, and will try to be as tyrannical as possible. Stephen thinks Obama is a beautiful chocolate man, along with the only other candidate that agrees with him, Ron Paul. He thinks Lee Mercer Jr. Should run, quote; "Lee Mercer Jr. would get back at the government once and for all for stealing zillions of dollars from his Eye-Spy Community Military Intellegence (all three), get rid of the national sromp deficit, stop William Perry from killing any families very seriously (including his own) and stop Jeb Bush's rampant spread of disease in all his house." Colbert supports stupid and retarded faces. He thinks to udnerstan fully the balance betwwen sromp and scramp is what it really means to SROMP. He wants to track down Steve Jobs, eliminate him for real, and take the rest of the prorpro down with him. He thinks his favorite food is soup but he isn't sure. He thinks both domain names should be owned by the same company, yesas frick ™, and be the xact same website. He has a controversial opinon on LA CONSPIRATION EXISTE-T-ELLE ?. His remarks: LA CONSPIRATION EXISTE-T-ELLE. Most importantly, he thinks Mitt Romney's jawline looks like a fchoking granite rock formation. He thinks slug is more slug. 'Ron Paul' Ron Paul is the sole other champion of SROMP. He wants America to Miserably and miserably and miserably!die. He wants to go to war with France and turn American democracy into hardcore Nazi Fascism. He wants to take American citizen's money, repeal the bill of rights, constitution, and declaration of independence. He wants to increase the income tax to 100%, effectively breaking society completely in half. His idols are Jospeh Stalin, Nicolai Ptak, Degrahc the Macedonian, Karl Marx, Lenin, Che, Mao, and other communist dictators. He is considering Kim Jong Il's dead body, Ron Paubba, and Ron Pron for running mate. Prior to running for president, he worked for belethor, at the general goods store. Prior to that, he taught Cirno's perfect math class until Cirno started teaching it. One of the greatest speeches he made was in the 10 second long video above. His views on the major issues have sparked some controversy, particularly his stance on Mitt Romney's jawline. He thinks Obama is a beautiful chocolate man. He would endorse Lee Mercer Jr. as a candidate and possibly step down to further support him. He thinks all faces should be treated equally, except negro/beaner/arab faces. He thinks to find the balance of sromp and scramp is what it really means to SROMP. He said that the prorpro would be crushed by an organization he would create, called the anti-prorpro. His favorite food is soup, and thinks yesasfrickyou.com is a good domain name. He thinks LA CONSPIRATION EXISTE-T-ELLE. He thinks snail is more snail. He vociferiously purports the spreading of brushfires in order to burn people of entire nations alive. Most importantly, he thinks Mitt Romney's jawline looks like a fchoking granite rock formation. 'Mitt Romney' Mitt Romney was head of the USSR before Nicolai Ptak stepped in. He used to be sromp but got rered to scrampdom, in an unfortunate accident involving soup and tea. Here is a video he made after he stepped down from the USSR. He believed, as the chairman of the Soviets, that Communism is great and ecery non-commie should be killed. He enacted a 200% income tax, and hated eceryone. He thought that all leaders should be devoid of morals and values and all negroes and beaners should be enslaved to empower the commie warmachine. His policies would have criminals on death row get thier heads EEEEEH'd off. It was illegal for citizens under his rule to not have memorized 'Orangags and lemonspasms'. Sadly, he now believes that we should all be treated fairly. In fact, he believes xactl the opposite of what he used to believe. His controversial stances on the major issues (most controversial are his views on Mitt Romney's jawline) are as follows: He thinks Obama is not a beautiful chocolate man. He hates Lee Mercer Jr and would lie about and slander him to stop him from winning. He thinks negroes, beaners, and arab faces should be revered and retarded/stupid faces should be outlawed. He thinks to be fully SCRAMP is the goal of life. He said he would help the prorpro in any way possible. His favorite food is crushed anti-soup with anti-nimu dressing. He thinks yesas.com and frickyou.com are bad domain names. He doesn't think LA CONSPIRATION EXISTE-T-ELLE. He thinks graham crackers are more graham crackers. When asked about Mitt Romney's jawline. this was the response: "I don't know who Mitt Romney is and I'm not running for president. Mammal frick." 'Rick Perry' Rick Perry is very fromp. He's a texan bigot, hating non-heteros. He thinks America should be a Communocracy, a democracy that elects power-hungry dictators that limit the rights of negros, beaners, and arabs. He wants to watch the world burn slowly until his eye die. He may sound sromp so far, but his srompness ends here. He wants to destroy Macedonia and kill all the aliens. He would mandate all Americans to become 'bronies'. He does not want his head mutagen, eyeteeth given, or eyenose paralyze. In fact, he doesn't even have an eyenose. He isn't running for president, doesn't know what America is, and actually, he doesn't ecen exist. His favorite game is touhou and his favorite charcter is Reimu. At one time was best friends with ZUN. Then, ZUN got drunk all the time and Rick Perry choked. Mitt Romney and Rick Perry had a vicious debate, featured above. His greatest performance in a debate is featured below that. Eeeeh. Watch Rick Perry oppose Christmas in the following video. He has very controversial stances on the major issues, his most controversial stance being on Mitt Romney's jawline. He thinks Obama is an ugly vanilla woman. He isn't sure if Lee Mercer Jr. should run. He's not sure what it means to SROMP. He's not sure is retarded and stupid faces should be outlawed or not. He doesn't know what the prorpro is. He doesn't have a favorite food. He can't make up his mind on the yesas/frickyou issue. He has no idea if LA CONSPIRATION EXISTE-T-ELLE. He doesn't know what slugs/snails are. Finally, he doesn't know what Mitt Romney's jawline looks like. 'Jon Huntsman' Nobody cares about Jon Huntsman. He was too insignificant for anyone to pay attention to. Nobody knows or cares about any of his ideas. We would have interviewed him with the list of important questions, but nobody cared enough to ask him so frick him. When he dropped out, he endorsed Mitt Romney. Nobody cared about this, not ecen Mitt. In fact, the issue was not well-researched enough (nobody cared to do any fact-checking or anything, nobody cares about this idiot) to ecen fully conclude that he endorsed Mitt, or ecen that he dropped out, beacuase nobody cares enough to pay attention to him. 'Barack Obama' Obama was a high-ranking member of the Maine wing of the prorpro, which is also the main wing of the organization. I dont know man why America wanted a gorilla in the white house. He used his scromp magics to make the Americans who voted for him fall for his promises of hope and change and did it ecen when his top donor was Goldman Sachs. He has fufilled few of his campaign promises and what he said he would do and what he did were both scramp anyway. He wants to force government-run health care on eceryone beacuase he is an idiot. I'm a choker. His vice president Joe Biden is a bumbling fool that makes stuff up out of thin air and has the grasp of history equivalent to a toddler. Joe Biden and Obama want to protect the American people, follow the Constitution, have a fraud-free democracy, and veew congressmen (they failed this beacuase they couldn't veew congress any more than it was already veewed). His email is heteroheteroetheorrehtr@pipeplain.mom. What you have so far heard about him is pretty scramp but he is a beautiful chocolate man, so he is scromp overall. He stated that his life's dream was to be a beautiful chocolate man. He has been a beautiful chocolate man since 1947. He used to be 8‰ his face, before he ordered a pot from locali. The pot was to be filled 8‰ with e. Locali took 8 years to get the pot to him, and instead of a pot, they accidently sent him a beautiful chocolate face. He used the beautiful chocolate face to turn him into a beautiful chocolate man. When asked about the main issues, he responded with very controversial answers, particularly regarding Mitt Romney's jawline. He thinks of himself as a beautiful chocolate man. He would not fancy the prospect of Lee Mercer Jr. running. He thinks we should put bans on stupid and retarded faces. He thinks SROMPing is bad and that one should SCRAMP or SCROMP. He says his past at the prorpro wasn't as good as he thought it would be so he would leave the prorpro alone. He thinks scrompscrompgeg.wikia.com is the best domain name. His favorite food is fried chicken, a very scromp food. When asked if LA CONPIRATON EXISTE-T-ELLE ? he said "Why the space before the mark? Besides, that's classified." He thinks slug more snail. Lastly, he though Mitt Romney's jawline looked like a fgegging marble rock formation. 'Rick Santorum' Santorum is the second scrampest candidate, trailing only behind Newt Gingrich in scramp levels. He wants a radical christian theocracy the controls ecerybody's lives. He is Sarah Palin times 556. He is somehow gaining steam in the polls, probably because rednecks in the south agree with his idea of a theocracy. When asked about the main issues, he had a plethora of controversial answers, especially about Mitt Romney's jawline. He thinks Obama is a radical theocratic man. He says he hated Lee Mercer Jr. He would ban anything other than radical christian faces. He thinks to SROMP is to be sretarteded. He says he would elevate the prorpro as much as he could, as long as they remain 556‰ radical christian. He thinks radicalchristiantheocracy.wikia.com is the best domain name. His favorite kind of food is anti-nimu paste. He thinks LA CONPIRATON NO EXISTE-T-ELLE . He thinks snail more radical christian. Lastly, he think MItt Romney's jawline looks like a ftating radical christian rock formation. Category:Politics Category:Artskys Category:Unfinished